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Science Monomania
On a dark desert campus, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the talk
There I stood in the doorway;
I heard the session bell
And I was thinking to myself this could be heaven or this could be hell
Then I lit up a beamer, and I showed them my way
There were voices down the corridor, I thought I heard them say
Welcome to the Science Monomania
Such a lovely place, such a lovely race
Plenty of fools at the Science Monomania
Any time of year, you can find them here
They are h-factor twisted, got citation sickness
They got a lot of pretty famous work,
that they call art
How they talked in the meetings,
years after years
Some talk to remember, Some talk to forget
So I called up my student; Please bring me my mac (I said)
I haven't had that spirit here since I was in the lab
and still those voices are calling from far away
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say
Welcome to the Science Monomania
Such a lovely place, such a lovely race
Plenty of fools at the Science Monomania
Any time of year, you can find them here
Honours and then falling; all the fame is past (and I said)
We are all just prisoners here, of our own device
And with their impact factor,
They gathered for the feast
They stab it with their steely knives
but they just can't kill the beast
Last thing I remember,
I was running for the door
I had to find the passage back
to the lab I was before
"Relax" said the grant man;
“we are programmed to receive”
You can check in anytime you like,
But you can never leave...
Original by Glenn Frey and Don Henley
Membranized by Franck Perez